SteveBuelow.com

I was speaking on the phone with a friend today, when he asked my opinion about a concern of his.

He happens to be associated with a twelve-step program, and membership isn’t growing like he thought it should.

So, I asked him three questions.

First, what is the range of years in the program among active members? The answer was three years on the low side to nearly thirty years on the high side.

Second, what percentage of newcomers come back every week for three months in a row? He didn’t have an exact figure… but assumed it was less than 5%.

This led to my third question… what expectation were they giving the new attendees at their first few meetings? The answer, not surprisingly, was complete and total abstinence… beginning today!

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Okay, so I admit it… that led to one more question… the kind where the rubber meets the road.

“Did YOU give up (whatever it was) on day one and remain 100%, completely and totally abstinent all these years… without ever slipping yourself?”

“Of course not!” he said… “It was a process!”

Okay, so we have a new person… who is addicted to, and abusing whatever it is they’re addicted to and abusing, and doing it for more years than they can remember… and ALL we’re asking them to do (at their first meeting, mind you), is to give up whatever it is… for the REST OF THEIR LIFE!

And they’re not coming back..? Hmm…

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I see the same thing go on in churches… and in weight-loss programs. With music lessons… and with extra-curricular school or work activities.

An expectation of near-perfection is set… usually by people who could not and did not initially meet such a standard themselves… and they set it without regard to what near-perfection would actually require.

That is, doing what you CAN do each day to move CONSISTENTLY toward such a goal… all the while being WILLING to fall flat your face REPEATEDLY in the process, if necessary.

It’s how ALL talent is developed into practical skills… and how innate ability is converted into the type of real-life experience that can benefit others.

Please know that it is my sincere hope that you failed at SOMETHING today, and I look forward to speaking with you soon.

Questions:

What are three abilities that you are seeking to hone into areas of real strength?

What is required each week to develop them to a high level?

Have you reached out and completely “failed” this week?
If so, congratulations.
If not, why not?

Photo Credit:

foxypar4